The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)


The e-mail says they are taken from actual high school essays and collected by English teachers across the country for their own amusement. Some of these kids may have bright futures as humor writers. What do you think?

01. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

02. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

03. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

04. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

05. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

06. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

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